How having boundaries can actually make you closer

It may seen like the very nature of personal boundaries is to disconnect.

Which can be scary when what we want is that authentic raw openness in a relationship full of vulnerability and closeness. Creating a personal boundary feels like it would logically get in the way of that, driving a wedge between us instead of bringing us closer together. 

But boundaries with others can actually create connection.

Boundaries and connection facilitate each other. Like how giving yourself a limit can help you be creative. 

I used to get stuck with limitless possibilities in art class, but when given a limit like "use only this one color" it helped me get closer to connecting with what I wanted to make faster because I had to walk through that door and work within that limit. I think it's like this with people as well.

If I know a friend hates something, I won't try to connect with them over it. If they don't like nicknames and they tell me to please call them their full legal name because it bothers them, I walk through that door for them if the connection is worth it. 

And the connection feels deeper and more meaningful because I know I'm willing to walk through a limit or two to get to it. I feel like I'm actually closer to who they really are when friends have and communicate their boundaries for closeness.